Instrumental Parentification

One of the things that I hear repeatedly in therapy is the parentification of children from a young age, particularly children of narcissists. It’s something that parents need to be very careful not to do to children, so as to avoid the impact of that behaviour, which I’ll explain later. So, I guess the first [...]

Why can’t they see the poison?

It can be really tough when we see through someone’s behaviour, and recognise it for toxicity, and yet, others don’t. Especially in narcissistic families, when the scapegoat realises the parent is abusive it can be isolating and frustrating that others in the same family can’t or won’t acknowledge how unhealthy the behaviour is. The same [...]

Suicide Part 2.

Suicide, part two. When I wrote the previous post, I was thinking about people who experience suicidal ideation from a place where their external impact is perceived as one so negative that they wish not to be a burden anymore. I was describing what I can only describe as honest suicide. As I wrote it, [...]

The Winner’s Triangle – The antithesis to The Drama Triangle.

I had some feedback from a group I’m in that the post about the drama triangle seemed victim shaming. It’s easy to see why, but it isn’t. It’s about accountability. When we are sucked into these conflicts by toxic people, how we respond can either perpetuate or end the situation. By understanding our own behaviour, [...]