The complementary moral defence.

The Complementary Moral Defence Those that know, know that the narcissist believes they are the epitome of perfection. That when someone has a problem with the narcissist’s behaviour, it is THEIR problem, not that of the narcissist. It can be the most frustrating thing about interacting with a narcissist, they never accept responsibility, they devalue, [...]

Mental Health Awareness Week. Month. Year. Lifetime.

So it’s mental health awareness week. I’ve been thinking about what I can post to be part of this worldwide movement, but I’ve been really struggling. And speaking to someone earlier today has helped me clarify why. It’s because it seems so reductive to draw attention to an international, perpetual crisis for a week. One [...]

Be kind to yourself…

YES. Be kind to yourself. It doesn’t matter if anyone has it worse, (in your eyes) or it could be worse, or it’s over with or any other reason you might find to minimise your experience. Emotional events are HARD. There is no ‘should’ to how you feel, how long you have felt, how long [...]

Strict parent v Boundaried Parent

This is something I think about all the time. How many clients have sat opposite me telling me about their parent’s authoritative stance. The lack of collaboration, and instead have received harsh instruction. Rather than creating a human who is able to know themselves, know their self worth, use their voice, trust those in authority [...]

Narcissistic parents and the complementary moral defence.

I love the words in this image, because we repeat what we know even if that means ending up in abusive situations. The biggest problem with this is that when there is parental narcissistic abuse, sometimes those who have suffered don’t realise until they’re a LOT older and have already experienced abusive relationships. Narcissistic parents [...]

Valuing the right person

🙌🏼❤️ I read this and thought YES!!! Exactly! And then something niggled. And as I’ve learned to do, I stopped and let the niggle grow. Instead of squishing it down I listened. And here’s what that was about. When we allow our worth to be determined by others, it will never be enough. Constantly looking [...]

Divorce isn’t failure. It’s success.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. Not for me, but for a couple of people nearby. The word I hear so often when it comes to the end of a relationship is ‘failure’. What?!? The WHOLE relationship was a failure? I can’t believe that, because you would never have married them or stayed [...]