Frog in boiling water – why we stay in abusive relationships so long.

Why did I stay so long? Why didn’t I see it until now? How could I have done this to myself and my children? These are the questions I hear from abuse survivors ALL. THE. TIME. They blame themselves for being abused. They take responsibility for the behaviour of their abuser. They carry soul crushing [...]

The complementary moral defence.

The Complementary Moral Defence Those that know, know that the narcissist believes they are the epitome of perfection. That when someone has a problem with the narcissist’s behaviour, it is THEIR problem, not that of the narcissist. It can be the most frustrating thing about interacting with a narcissist, they never accept responsibility, they devalue, [...]

Instrumental Parentification

One of the things that I hear repeatedly in therapy is the parentification of children from a young age, particularly children of narcissists. It’s something that parents need to be very careful not to do to children, so as to avoid the impact of that behaviour, which I’ll explain later. So, I guess the first [...]

Toxic Masculinity

Okay, I’m going to try and venture into this topic. It’s contentious. I truly believe it’s a thing, and I also believe that it’s as damaging to men as it is women. What is toxic masculinity? You all gave such interesting answers; answers that gave me food for thought, and also helped me understand how [...]