Projection: Psychological defence mechanism that people use to deny behaviours they perpetuate, by accusing others of doing the same things. For example, the cheating husband accusing the loyal wife of having an affair (or the other way round!) when it is in fact him who is doing it. Projection is essentially blame shifting, and exonerates... Continue Reading →

The Drama Triangle

The drama triangle is one of my favourite concepts. It certainly helped me understand some of my own unhealthy behaviours and lead me to be able to employ much more solid boundaries as a result. So what is it? Created by Stephen Karpman, it looks at how personal responsibility and power in conflicts are connected... Continue Reading →


Gaslighting Gaslighting is a term taken from the 1940’s stage play and later film, Gas Light. In the story, the husband convinces his wife, and those around them, that she is insane by changing things in their environment and convincing her that she is mistaken or has misremembered things. One of the things is convincing... Continue Reading →

Trauma Bonding

Have you ever wondered why you, or your loved one can’t leave the person who hurts them? Whether physical or emotional, it can be impossible to understand why someone won’t leave, and sometimes we can feel judgemental of that, which is understandable, even if it makes us feel bad for feeling that way. We’ve all... Continue Reading →

Owning emotion.

There are times when we will tell someone ‘you make me feel...’. Unwittingly, we have given them power and relinquished responsibility of our feelings. There are certainly situations that provoke emotions, there’s no denying that, but even in those situations the emotion is ours and ours alone. The secret is understanding that certain situations trigger... Continue Reading →

Mindfulness isn’t for everyone!

Okay, I'm going to get real for a moment. There's a HUGE buzz around mindfulness at the moment. It seems to be everyone's answer to everything. If you're stressed, try mindfulness; if you're grieving, try mindfulness; if your boss is being mean, try mindfulness; if you've broken the coffee machine, try mindfulness. (actually don't, panic,... Continue Reading →


I’m judgemental, and that’s as it should be. As a therapist, I make it my business to create a warm, safe, non-judgmental space for my clients. I think I achieve it. I really hope I do. The question really is how? Being judgemental is a vital life skill. Being judgemental is not a bad thing.... Continue Reading →


Narcissism. Fair warning: this is going to be long! Narcissism is a word we hear a lot in the media at the moment. It’s a word thrown around that seems to describe any behaviour that seems self indulgent or delusional. The layperson perception of a narcissist would seem to be someone who is self-centred, loud,... Continue Reading →

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