I think therefore I am….

So today I want to talk about language and how it relates to our emotional understanding. Once upon a time, I was in a supervision session (therapy for my therapy) and I said ‘I feel like I am doing okay with this client because xyz’/.   ‘No Helen, you don’t feel that, you think it.... Continue Reading →

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I regularly see posts about how forgiving those who have wronged you is the only way to move on in life. How forgiveness liberates you and brings peace. I disagree. For me. There are some things that can never be forgiven. Abuse, Rape, Neglect or any other kind of suffering imposed on one human by... Continue Reading →

The Insidiousness of Victim Blaming

#victimblaming Trigger Warnings: Rape, Sexual Assualt, Sexual Abuse, Victim Blaming, Victim Shaming. Okay, so here goes…… I should be doing MA stuff, but I can’t put this off any longer, it’s too important! In this blog, I’m going to write about rape, sexual assault and sexual abuse. This may be triggering, please do not read... Continue Reading →

Making friends with grief.

I have recently had reason to look at how we face bereavement. Both societally and personally. Our family suffered a sudden and unexpected loss of a figure head. Naturally it has been a sad process coming to terms with his death but the thing that has struck me has been the way people outside the... Continue Reading →

The Grey Rock Method

‘Like blood from a stone’ - The Grey Rock Method Today I want to explain how to implement the use of the grey rock method when in contact with toxic people. The objective is to withdraw and refuse any kind of ‘supply’ a toxic person gets from you. That is to say you stop giving... Continue Reading →

Relational Patterns

When we are small, we learn how the world works from the people around us. We learn what is acceptable behaviour and what isn’t from parents, siblings, friends and teachers. We learn how to respond to a given set of circumstances or how to demonstrate emotion from those people. Essentially, we learn to relate to... Continue Reading →


Today, I’m going to look at triangulation. There are different types of triangulation, but the use of it is ultimately generates the same outcome: control and conflict. Triangulation is a manipulative technique that an abuser or toxic person might use to manipulate or control two other people. It’s particularly good for creating rivalry between two... Continue Reading →


  Boundaries are something we talk a lot about as Counsellors but I wondered if I was making an assumption that people who are not involved in the therapeutic world would know what they are, and then I wondered whether even as therapists we could explain what they are. I’ve done a lot of wondering... Continue Reading →

Just Say No!

Being able to say 'no' can be one of the most important skills we can learn, but it also seems to be one we are often woefully lacking in. We seem to need to justify ourselves in our negative position, as though we show our right and entitlement to do so. There is nothing that... Continue Reading →

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