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I think therefore I am….

So today I want to talk about language and how it relates to our emotional understanding. Once upon a time, I was in a supervision session (therapy for my therapy) and I said ‘I feel like I am doing okay with this client because xyz’/.   ‘No Helen, you don’t feel that, you think it.... Continue Reading →

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Suicide Part 2.

Suicide, part two. When I wrote the previous post, I was thinking about people who experience suicidal ideation from a place where their external impact is perceived as one so negative that they wish not to be a burden anymore. I was describing what I can only describe as honest suicide. As I wrote it,... Continue Reading →

Suicide Part One.

I want to talk about suicide. It seems so current that I really feel like I need to voice some thoughts about it. I also suspect I’m saying something controversial that may not be well received. But I know those who are suicidal will relate to this, and I hope they will be grateful to... Continue Reading →

Active v Passive Support

I have just seen a devastating post on facebook about a little boy who has died unexpectedly. In the comments was the statement ‘know that you can message me any time of night or day and I will be here for you’. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s so clearly heartfelt and sincere, but it... Continue Reading →

Telling the truth….

The most frustrating thing for children of narcissists is represented in this image. Imagine finally coming up for air from the constant brainwashing; realising your family system is toxic and entirely constructed to defend the mirage of the narcissists image, only to have your truth questioned by those around you. One of the questions on... Continue Reading →

Anger.

Let’s talk about anger for a minute. I hear people saying ‘don’t be angry!’, ‘don’t make me angry!’ ‘I don’t want him to be angry with me!’.What I’m hearing there is an avoidance of anger. We are conditioned as a society to avoid and suppress anger ALL THE TIME. Guess what? That makes me angry!!... Continue Reading →

I don’t have a choice…. Or do I?

‘I have to go to a family event this weekend. I would rather stay at home, but I don’t have a choice.’ How often have you heard someone say something like that? How often have you yourself actually said it? When we think like that, what we’re really saying is ‘I don’t want to confront... Continue Reading →

Toxic People

Dealing with toxic people is highly unpleasant, but sadly a likely part of life. Today I’m going to explain what makes someone toxic and how to identify them. Tomorrow I will explain how to deal with them. A toxic person will be someone who you might identify as draining. They will always be central to... Continue Reading →

Projection

Projection: Psychological defence mechanism that people use to deny behaviours they perpetuate, by accusing others of doing the same things. For example, the cheating husband accusing the loyal wife of having an affair (or the other way round!) when it is in fact him who is doing it. Projection is essentially blame shifting, and exonerates... Continue Reading →

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