How to choose a therapist

Choosing a therapist. Entering therapy can be really scary. It’s a bit like going to the dentist. We don’t want to, we know it’s going to hurt, but we also know that we have to look after ourselves and we sometimes can’t do that alone. So how do we go about picking a person who’s... Continue Reading →

Featured post

I think therefore I am….

So today I want to talk about language and how it relates to our emotional understanding. Once upon a time, I was in a supervision session (therapy for my therapy) and I said ‘I feel like I am doing okay with this client because xyz’/.   ‘No Helen, you don’t feel that, you think it.... Continue Reading →

Featured post

Narcissistic Parentification

So, here I am, the last in the instalments about parentification. Today’s offering is on Narcissistic Parentification. Grab a drink, a snack, and get comfy, because not only could this be long, but I suspect for some of you this might be painful, and I really want to ask you to keep yourselves safe in... Continue Reading →

Emotional Parentification

So a couple of days ago I wrote about Instrumental Parentification. In that blog I explained that there are 3 types of parentification, Instrumental, Emotional, and Narcissistic. Today I’m going to write about Emotional Parentification. So, what is Emotional Parentification? Well, ultimately, and most simply, it is when the parent relies on their child for... Continue Reading →

Your circle

Your circle. Your circle will accept you 100% as you are. They will never ask you to conform to something they need you to be. They will never ask you to be less, and they will never ask you to be more. They will support you in public and correct you in private. They will... Continue Reading →

Instrumental Parentification

One of the things that I hear repeatedly in therapy is the parentification of children from a young age, particularly children of narcissists. It’s something that parents need to be very careful not to do to children, so as to avoid the impact of that behaviour, which I’ll explain later. So, I guess the first... Continue Reading →

Toxic Masculinity

Okay, I’m going to try and venture into this topic. It’s contentious. I truly believe it’s a thing, and I also believe that it’s as damaging to men as it is women. What is toxic masculinity? You all gave such interesting answers; answers that gave me food for thought, and also helped me understand how... Continue Reading →

Addiction….not a dirty word

I’ve been wondering what to write about lately. Lots of my blogs are informed by client work or observations I’ve made, or even conversations with friends. This one isn’t so much, but it is something personal to me that feels important to share. When I decided I wanted to become a therapist, I started out... Continue Reading →

Genuine v Fake Apologies

Okay, so here it is, the blog I’ve been promising on apologies. It’s going to be long, so grab a drink, find a comfy spot and get ready! Apologies are tricky. Have you ever had someone apologise, but it doesn’t really feel right? Like it’s left you feeling as though somehow they don’t really feel... Continue Reading →

Why can’t they see the poison?

It can be really tough when we see through someone’s behaviour, and recognise it for toxicity, and yet, others don’t. Especially in narcissistic families, when the scapegoat realises the parent is abusive it can be isolating and frustrating that others in the same family can’t or won’t acknowledge how unhealthy the behaviour is. The same... Continue Reading →

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