Raising kids is really really hard.
There’s a constant push pull between letting them fall and helping them fly, not to mention an attempt to retain some identity other than X’s Mummy.
So here are a few things I want to tell you about attachment theory:
If they cry when you leave, it’s a good thing. If they come to you when you return it’s a great thing.
The best thing we can do for our children is go away and come back. When they are old enough (6months plus perhaps) to understand; we mind map for them, explain what we are doing and why and that we would rather be with them and will be back as soon as we can.
Validate and mirror their emotions, reassure and listen and we build a secure attachment style.
Winnicott said that the good enough mother was good enough, and another statistic shows we only need to get it right 32% of the time to establish a secure attachment in our child.
Good enough means showing your children that mistakes are permissible.
Good enough means setting an achievable bar.
Good enough means allowing opportunity to model apologies and responsibility.
Good enough means empowering children by letting them question authority without fear.
Good enough means modelling acceptance of the fallibility of each and every human being including themselves.
Good enough fosters healthy boundaries and good self awareness, protecting mental health and relationships.
Good enough is good enough and gives everyone a break, especially the parent.
Ultimately what I’m saying is this.
And your babies will be just fine ❤️